George W. Bush Declares Cindy Sheehan an Enemy Combatant

Unconfirmed sources report that the recently arrested anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan has been declared an enemy combatant and flown to Guantanamo Bay Cuba for questioning and indefinite incarceration. Sheehan was arrested in front of the White House today during a daring attempt to protest against the war in Iraq without a permit. The President was rush to saftey to an underground bunker from were he issued an Executive Order declaring Sheehan an enemy combatant. Sheehan was then and put on board a plane to Guantanamo Bay Cuba.

“America is a safer place now that Cindy Sheehan is behind bars in Cuba.” Said White House spokesmen Ben Lion. “Sheehan was apprehended today during a daring daylight protest against the President without a permit. The President frowns on this sort of ant-American behavior and exercised his right to have her arrested and held without charge and flown to a foreign country where she will be deprived of her rights. As an enemy combatant Ms. Sheehan will be afforded first class treatment that may or may not include torture.”

D.C. Police made a point of arresting Sheehan first to make sure everyone knew that protesting without a permit was serious business and to avoid any appearance that she was being singled out for her political views. D.C. police then took Sheehan and delivered her into Federal Custody at the airport. She was then bound, gagged, beaten and stuffed into the luggage compartment of a Gulfstream jet and then flown to Cuba.

“It’s about time people understood the seriousness of protesting without a permit.” Says David Brooks of the New York Times. “People just can’t go around expressing themselves wily nily thinking they are protected by the First Amendment. You can’t just say bad things about the President and expect to get away with it. People like Sheehan who protest without a permit should be deported.”

Sheehan is expected to be ‘questioned’ for months before being sent to a third world country to be tortured. It is then likely that she will be retuned to the US and released without charge.