George W. Bush Discovers New Energy Source

(UCS News:Alaska) Unconfirmed sources report the Bush administration has found a promising new alternative energy source. In the past the Bush administration focused its energy policy on drilling for oil in the Alaska National wildlife refuge and on tax breaks for campaign supporting oil companies, no more according to Department of Energy insiders.

In the Presidents State of the Union address he discussed switch grass. The Native plant is cheap to grow and provides a high yield crop that can make a lot of ethanol for a low cost. But this is not the new discovery that has the President excited. The Department of Energy has found that contaminated birds and other oil fowled wild life is a tremendous untapped energy source.

A new report in the hands of the President is rumored to list the potential reserve of over 30 million barrels. The oil is easy to get, just wipe it off the animals. This source is also renewable, the same animals can be “cleaned” over and over again. The report also claims a process using super heated high presure steam to clean the animals increases the effiencty of the processing up to 76%, over traditional hand cleaning.

Alaska’s Republican Representative Don Young supports the concept of petroleum bird extraction. “Since the Exxon disaster we have had this great source of energy waiting to be exploited.” Representative Don Young most famous for tricking the congress into building the 490 Million dollar bridge to nowhere has made oil exploration his number one priority. Young unable to open the National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling sees this new program and the “Next Best thing”.