Unconfirmed sources reports the President of the United States has previewed the new western epic Brokeback Mountain. Stars Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are two troubled but love struck cowboys that struggle with their relationship. The President and First Lady screened the film in the White house basement with several key staffers. Those close to the President say “he loved it.” Much to the horror of his socially conservative right wing evangelical Christian base, Mr. Bush also recommended the film to friends and his parents.
Film critics are raving and have hailed Brokeback Mountain as a triumph of the human sprit. Social conservatives however, panned the film. Pat Robertson blasted the films’ Director Ang Lee for making a stealth homo erotic porno dressed up like a western states travelog. Robertson went on to say that he in fact didn’t see the film “I can’t subject myself to such moral pollution.” The outspoken Robertson also blasted President Bush during his daily telecast. “Evangelical Christians must shame the President for his support of the gay homosexual cowboy lifestyle. It’s a mortal sin!”??
The noted film critic Roger Ebert also reviewed the film this week. “I liked the film but I can also see how Pat Robertson would see this as another frontal attack in the ongoing culture war.” The Log Cabin society, an outspoken group of homosexual Republicans, supports the Presidents’ view point that gays should be allowed to be cowboys.??
Still others don’t agree with the President. The Citizens for Texas Bigotry have called for all Texans to boycott the film. The groups’ spokesmen Jack Mehoff complained, “It’s just not right for them to drag an american symbol like the cowboy through the mud of real human emotions.” Many in Texas agree, despite the Presidents support of the Gay cowboy lifestyle, that “something must be done to stop the gay infection of the American cowboy.” Off the record Mehoff exclaimed “What’s next? Don’t tell me those Marlboro men are a bunch of man loving chain smokers!”??
Responding to heat from his evangelical Christian base about the movie, the president called a press conference to make clear his views on gay cowboy sex. The President said, “It’s a great film but I hope people see that Brokeback Mountain is a work of fiction. There ain’t such a thang as a gay cowboy.” The President also went on to state, “Most Americans have come to accept that cowboys can be gay, hell what’s the big deal? The Village People proved America loves gay dancing cowboys.”