(Another Summer Re-Run…originally published on Spoof)
United States President George W. Bush and his fellow scamps, retired Secretary of State Colin Powell, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Vice President Dick Cheney, have finally admitted that the entire Iraq war was nothing more than practical joke gone bad. The victim of the prank was British Prime Minister Tony Blair, who has only recently learned that he has been the butt of a unintentionally cruel hoax.
” It just went too far,” admitted the American Imp in Chief, George W. Bush, in a recent interview, ” but man, you should have seen the look on his (Blair’s) face when he finally found out. We had Jack Straw video tape it for us and send it over in a diplomatic pouch. I gotta tell you, it was priceless.”
Apparently, the whole charade started after President Bush and Prime Minister Blair’s first face to face meeting just after Mr. Bush’s selection by Supreme Court . At the time Mr. Bush, a man known for his outrageous antics ( his bankrupting of America on a dare and passing himself off as straight talking and Godly Christian is still causing chuckles among Republicans in the know) thought that Mr. Blair was putting him on by speaking with a British accent.
” Being from Texas, the President had never heard anyone speak that way,” explained former Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, “The only time Bush ever heard an accent like that was when he once inadvertently tuned into BBC World Service on the radio. They were having a round table discussion about diplomacy, so of course he thought that was a joke too.” Convinced that the British PM was shining him on, Mr. Bush decided to do him one better. With the help of fellow pranksters Rumsfeld, Powell and Cheney as well as Jack Straw on the UK end, they conceived the now famous ” 45 minutes to complete destruction” gag.
“Tony bought it hook line and sinker.” giggled Colin Powell as he sat in a lawn chair on the grounds of the I’m Too Embarrassed By What I’ve Done To Live nursing home,” He was really terrified that his country would be attacked. But sadly, we took it all a bit too far.”
Unwilling to bring the gag to a conclusion the American Administration felt it had no choice but to actually attack Iraq and occupy it. Now, unfortunately, the joke’s on all of us.
” I can’t believe they made me the butt of a practical joke,” wept Mr. Blair when he was finally told, ” World Leaders can be so cruel sometimes.”