George W. Bush Fires Karl Rove Over Plame Affair

Unconfirmed sources report that The President has fired long time aid and strategist Karl Rove. Our sources indicate that Rove was called into the oval office late last night and given the bad news. Rove and the President spoke together for a little over an hour and Rove was then escorted to his desk to and told to pack his things. Rove was then escorted to the White House lawn where he boarded the Marine One Helicopter, which flew him out of the White House complex.

White House spokesman Ben Lion spoke briefly to reporters this morning and denied that Rove had been fired. “Karl Rove has resigned from his position on the Presidents staff. Karl has left the administration voluntarily and was not fired. Karl has decided to leave politics to spend more time with his family. His departure has nothing to do with the fact that he leaked the identity of an under cover CIA agent. The President begged Karl to stay and even offered to make him the Vice President if he would stay on.”

“I have to tell you I think this is a big mistake on Rove’s part.” Says right wing columnist Bob Novak. “I think Karl could have gutted this one out until the American public lost interest in the whole affair. That’s what I’m going to do and it seems to be working. I mean the American public forgets this kind of stuff in a few weeks and then its back to normal business as usual. Rove’s leaving is going to signal to the liberal scum of this country that the Present is weak and can be beaten.”

“I’m not surprised.” Admitted Scooter Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney’s chief of staff. “Karl has been under a lot of stress lately and I think he really misses his momma. His getting away from the rough and tumble world of politics to speed time with his family sounds like just the kind of thing Karl would do. Karl is a kind, sweet, generous boy who longs for the quiet family he has been missing for the last several years.