Unconfirmed sources report that The President has fired his long time friend and advisor Donald Rumsfeld. Secretary Rumsfeld was fired late yesterday during a stormy meeting at the White House. The President was reportedly very upset about the leaked photos of Saddam Hussein and took the Secretary to task. Rumsfeld’s appraisal of the situation was apparently not good enough and he was escorted to the West Gate of the White House complex and ejected onto the street.
The firing of Rumsfeld has come as a complete surprise to many in Washington. Even administration insiders can hardly believe that Don ‘sacred cow’ Rumsfeld has been fired. Rumsfeld has survived so many scandals nobody though that he would ever leave.
“It’s a real shocker. Rumy is the ultimate survivor.” Explained Washington watcher EJ Dion, of the Brookings Institution. “He has weathered the Abu Ghraib scandal, the missing explosives scandal, the defacing the Quran scandal, the murder of Iraqi detainees scandal, the missing WMD scandal, the botched war in Iraq, the botched occupation of Iraq, the false prewar intelligence scandal, the failure to capture Osama Bin Laden, and the failure to equip our soldiers with body armor. So it comes as a real surprise that these Saddam photos are the reason he has been fired. I still can’t believe it.”
“The President was very disappointed in Mr. Rumsfeld’s performance as Secretary of Defense.” Said White House spokesman Ben Lion. “The leaking of photos of Saddam in his skivvies was the last straw. Mr. Rumsfeld has apparently lost control of the Army and new leadership must be found. The American people deserve a Secretary of Defense that can control his people.”
The photos of Saddam where published by the Sun a British news tabloid. The Sun said the photos were provided by an unidentified “U.S. military source” The source hoped their release would deal a “body blow” to the insurgency. There is no firm evidence that Rumsfeld himself leaked the photos but the U.S. military has ordered an investigation of that possibility.
A White House insiders says the short of list of possible replacements for Rumy is said to include, Jeb Bush, John Bolton and John Ashcroft.