President George W. Bush may have committed the first faux pas of his new Administration. Mr. Bush, while attempting to phone a right to life rally being held in Washington DC inadvertently phoned a Islamic Jihad group in Damascus, Syria. As hundreds of would be suicide bombers listened in confusion the American president told them that he shared their support for “a culture of life” and that “this movement will not fail.” Mr. Bush also said that he would continue “seeking ground where possible and persuading increasing numbers of our fellow citizens of the rightness of our cause. This is the path of the culture the we seek for our country.”
Abdul bull Durham, president of the Union of Thugs, Losers, Assassins and Dead Enders (U.T.L.A.&D.E.) who chaired the meeting said, “Allah be praised, it was good to hear that the sniveling son of Satan is finally coming around to our way of thinking, although that ‘culture of life’ comment did leave us a little befuddled. maybe it was a translation thing, but then again George Bush was never the most powerful charge of Semtex in the arsenal. Either way, we are currently planning on applying to Washington for funding
now that he’s committed to championing our cause. In return we shall support him in his quest to gut Social Security.”
Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “I knew we shouldn’t have let the president try to dial his own telephone…it just never works out. All those buttons and lights and things, it’s just too confusing for the little dear. Apparently he dialed 01 instead of DC’s area code first and things just kind of went downhill from there. In his defense who would’ve thought that the U.T.L.A.&D.E. would have the same phone number as a right to life group? I mean, the chances are better that Saddam could have hid all his weapons of mass destruction or shipped them of out Iraq before the war, crazy stuff like that.”
Reports are that as soon as Mr. Bush realized his mistake he tried to pretend he was a telemarketer selling condo time shares in Boca Raton until Karl Rove hung up the phone and called the proper fanatical Conservative Religious group.