George W. Bush Gets Tom Delay onto Supreme Court with Recess Appointment

A sleepy Washington D.C. was rudely awakened today by the news that embattled Representative Tom Delay has been appointed to the Supreme Court by the embattled President Bush. Bush took the highly controversial step of using a recess appointment to get Tom Delay onto the Court bypassing the Senate and thus avoiding another divisive nomination process.

“Tom is the right person to have on the court during these turbulent times.” Said White House spokesmen Ben Lion, reading from a prepared statement. “Judge Delay will be the rock the country will stand on as we face an uncertain and dangerous future. Justice Delay is a man of strong convictions and has the ability to see past the facts of an issue and decisions on purely partisan political grounds.”

“The President has done it again.” Says David Brooks, of the New York Times. “He has defied conventional wisdom and made, in my mind, the most brilliant appointment of his presidency. Tom Delay’s presence on the bench will pave the way and solidify the right wing’s control of the government and the country. The President has really captured the high ground with this appointment. And by using a recess appointment has saved the country from another bruising nomination process like that of Judge Roberts. Bravo Mr. President! Bravo!”

Tom Delay was reached at his home in Sugarland Texas where met with reporters.

“I would like to thank the President for this gracious appointment and vow to use my power as a supreme court justice to guide this county out of the moral morass it has fallen into. With God favor, and corporate guidance, we will make this the best Christian country the world has ever known. We will set a new standard of moral and ethical governance as to be an example for all the world. But first, Ronnie Earl, you better watch your ass, because I coming for you.”