Unconfirmed sources report that the President hosted a screening of the movie classic Logan’s Run during a stop on the administrations “Road To Ruin” Social Security Reform sales tour. After the film the President spoke in front of a large and very hostile crowd of college students and facility at The University of Michigan, in Ann Arbor. The President forcefully denied that the administration planned to institute the Sandman/Carrousel System, but then said that “…all options are on the table.”
White House spokesman Ben Lion tried to sooth the nation during an early morning press conference. “The President is not advocating the Sandman/Carrousel System that is illustrated in the film. He was merely showing the film to get the conversation on Social Security reform rolling. We are not about to start killing everyone once they hit age thirty, but some later age might be a more reasonable place to start.”
“I think that the Sandman/Carrousel System has some real merits and should be openly discussed.” said respected right wing pundit David Brookes. “The system in the film is too crude, but I can think of a few wrinkles that would make it a system most Americans could live with. Means testing, for instance, in the film everyone over age thirty is “Renewed”(killed) in the Carrousel, I think that more wealthy people should be able to live longer, maybe even pay a Life Tax. The longer you want to live the more you pay. This tax system has the benefit of being completely voluntary at the upper levels, which would be a great selling point to conservatives. Don’t want to pay the tax? Fine, we’ll send a Sandman right over.”
“I think this just the type of bold policy intuitive the President needs to make to get this debate moving in his favor.” says moderate radical Andrew Sullivan. “The President is getting beat up on this debate so far. It seems every time he opens his mouth the chances of his reform plan succeeding get a little worse. Will this approach, who knows? The President is geting desperate and has nothing to lose.”
Want to hear more on the Presidents plans to “save” Social Security, check out the “Road To Ruin: Saving Social Security Tour” coming to over 60 cities in the next two months.