George W. Bush "Iran has nuclear bomb, Ohio is the target"

Unconfirmed sources report new critical information has reached the White House regarding Irans nuclear capability and potential targets. The President has called and emergency meeting of the Joint Chiefs to discuss the emerging threat. According intelligence sources the great state of Ohio has been targeted for destruction by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the Islamic republic of Iran.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has had a long standing hatred of Ohio. While the original reason for his anger is in unknown Ahmadinejad has now focused Iran on the task of destroying Ohio with a special emphasis on the “Higher reward” of Ohio Secretary of State – J. Kenneth Blackwell. Iran watchers suspect it may be related to the 2004 Ohio election fraud “Conspiracy”, a case that Ahmadinejad has personally studied.

Weapons experts consider the Iranian Shahab-7 nuclear missile a credible threat to eastern Ohio. The missile is a satellite launch variant of the Shahab-5. Indigenously derived version of North Korea’s NKSL-X-2. The claimed range probably exceeds what is technically feasible. It most likely is similar in performance to the Soviet SS-5. The range of the Shahab-7 nuclear missile and it’s rated payload capacity is a direct threat Columbus and the surrounding communities.

President Bush stated that he was disappointed with the actions of Iran targeting Ohio for destruction “But not surprised”. George W. Bush has long been critical of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “He said the other day that Iran’s peaceful nuclear activities do not constitute a threat to any country.” In response to Presidents personal remarks about his character Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said simply “Okay…. I lied, I plan to destroy Ohio with a nuclear missile.”