Unconfirmed sources report that the President himself has lead an aerial assault on hurricane Rita. The Texas Air National Guard attacked hurricane Rita last night in a valiant attempt to defend the Texas coast line from the monster storm. The President came out of retirement and led the raid with courage and determination. He then returned after the successful mission to be greeted with cheers and adulation.
“The attack was a huge success.” Says White House spokesmen Ben Lion. “The bombers engaged the storm and dropped their bombs with pinpoint accuracy. The President flew the lead plan and coordinated the massive attack. Americans should be proud of their President tonight, very proud.”
Experts say it is too early to tell if the attack will save Texas from the hurricane’s destructive fury, but they all admitted that it couldn’t hurt.
“This is just the type of leadership America needs to see from this President.” Says David Brooks, of the New York Times. “In the aftermath of Katrina the President really looked like a dope as his political cronies failed miserably. He needed to show the country that he could lead in this type of situation. Leading a military force against Rita is a much better response then attending a political fund raiser as he did while New Orleans was leveled by Katrina.”
Upon landing, the President was swept up by members of the Air National Guard and hailed as a hero. In a speech from the air force base Bush promised to spend whatever it takes to repair the damage, real or imagined, Rita will cause to the Texas coast. “No matter the cost to future generations Texas will be rebuilt.” Shouted the President at the end of his speech.
Bush’s handlers were pleased with President’s performance and privately stated that the publicity stunt would no doubt erase from the minds of the American public the Presidents frequent and ongoing failures in dealing with the war in Iraq and the Handling of hurricane Katrina. Mission accomplished.