Unconfirmed sources report that the White House has tightened up its ethics guidelines in the wake of the Karl Rove Valerie Plame affair. The President has issued a statement outlining the new standards that will be followed by White House staffers when questions about their unethical behaviors are raised. “A new robust process for scrutinizing wrongdoings in the White House is going to really clean up this place.” says White House council Clyde Sneevely. “Our new 7 point plan is going show the American people the kind of quality we demand in our staffers.”
The White House Press office released a draft summery of the new ‘White House Ethics Guide Lines” that will be used by staffers when dealing with ethically ‘difficult’ situations.
If an ethical question arises:
1. Deny any wrong doing, as long as you can or until the next election cycle is past.
2. Blame it on the Clinton administration.
3. Blame it on the ‘rabid left wing’ media.
4. Change the law with slush money from corporate donors.
5. Claim the issue is of National Security and is classified.
6. Call Bob Novak and smear the f%&king bastard that is asking the questions.
7. Wait for the President to Award you the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
“We are putting these policies into effect immediately and should see positive results right way.” promised White House spokesmen Ben Lion.