President George W. Bush, while on yet another month long vacation to his ranch in Crawford, Texas has refused to meet with mother of an Army Specialist slain in Sadr City, Iraq on April 4, 2004, or somewhere around three hundred thirty nine days after the Mission was Accomplished. Citing the fact that the President was taking some “me time” White House spokesman Trent Duffy said that it would be inappropriate for Cindy Sheehan, the mother of slain soldier Casey Sheehan, to bother Mr. Bush with any niggling little details such as her sons death in the War in Iraq.
White House Spokesman Trent Duffy said, “Many of the hundreds of families the President has met with know their loved one died for a Noble Cause and that the best way to honor their sacrifice is to complete the mission. If Mrs. Sheehan wants to know how the President feels about the loss of her son, she can Google up one of his previous speeches and cut and paste her son’s name in where appropriate.”
When asked what exactly the Noble Cause was, Mr. Duffy assured the gathered listeners that he would get back to them on that one, citing the fact the Noble Cause has changed so many times in the last three or four years that it was difficult to keep track of.
Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “What you Liberal cow pies don’t understand is that actually we’re doing the country a real favor by giving them a whole bunch of Noble Causes to choose from. If you like Weapons of Mass Destruction, take that one, although I gotta admit WMD’s aren’t as popular as they once were. Or you can pick the War on Terrorism, the Downfall of a Tyrant, bringing Democracy to the Middle East, Schools for Shiite’s, Kittens for Kurds, Supper for Sunni’s, Makeover’s for Muslims, Safety for Saudi’s, Help for Halliburton, Fajita’s for Fallujah, Balloons for Basra or any of the hundreds of Noble Causes we’ve hit upon in the ever changing kaleidoscope that is the Administrations reason for whacking Iraq.”
A group of fifty to one hundred supporters of Ms. Sheehan who planned on following her to the gates of the Crawford ranch were stopped after about a half mile, or still four to five miles away from their destination by McLeenan County Sheriff’s Captain Kenneth Vanek who said that some marchers ignored his instruction to walk in the ditch alongside the road and actually had the gall to walk on the same pavement as loyal Republicans used when driving their pick up trucks and livestock trailers.