George W. Bush State of the Union "US Addicted to Oil"

(UCS News:Washington D.C.) George W. Bush lashed out at US citizens blaming them for the current instability in the middle east. “You have forced your government to invade oil producing nations and to have relationships with unsavory countries like Saudi Arabia.” “The US is addicted to oil and this has got to stop, regardless of my campaign donors windfall profits.” he said.

The President then blasted his Vice President Dick Cheney. “I have had enough of Mr. Cheney, his days of cuddling with oil companies is over!” The President went on to say that he would release the names of oil company executives and documents generated by the Vice President’s energy Task force. Mr. Bush stated “It’s time the public knows how deeply big oil has corrupted my Government.”

The President then praised Toyota Motors. “Toyota has shown the true American spirit of innovation with it’s energy efficient hybrid cars and trucks.” Mr. Bush blamed Ford and General Motors for following the CAFE standards for fuel economy and for taking advantage of loopholes allowing gas guzzling SUV and so called light Trucks. The President went on to blame GM’s financial crisis on the companies inability to “strip it’s retired works of their pensions” and “It’s insistence on actually providing medical care to workers.” The President held Wal-Mart as an example of “How to treat impoverished Americans.”

George W. Bush also spoke directly to soccer moms and den mothers about their energy use. “You must park your mini vans, your appetite for oil is leading our nation to ruin.” Mr. Bush didn’t stop there. He then criticized the congress for letting lobbyists like Jack Abramoff penetrate the Republican leadership and the White house. President then showed the public a photo of himself and Jack Abramoff . “See how bad it has gotten?” he asked.

In his closing remarks the President returned to one of his favorite talking points; personal responsibility. “It is not the Government’s responsibility to set energy policy.” The President then demanded that each American should develop a coherent, balanced, sustainable energy portfolio.