As if the last six years and all it’s potential never happened, the GOP, with no real success in any domestic or international forum to point to as well as myriad scandals to explain away, has finally settled on an overall campaign strategy; it’s just not their fault, it’s Bill Clinton’s. Condoleezza Rice, John McCain, Denny Hastert and even George W. Bush himself have decided that all of the failures of the Clinton years, the successful war in Bosnia, the sanctions against Iraq that actually were working, the budget surplus and Republican style welfare reforms, will take decades, if not centuries to solve.
Newly named Unnamed White House Source JA Nudder, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “No one can deny that Bill and Hillary Clinton had possibly the worst eight years in American history. I mean think about it…balanced budgets, a wildly successful economy, budget surpluses, stopping the Serbia/Bosnia genocide with like, two or three American casualties, if that, all while dealing with a vengeful Whitewater investigation and the Lewinsky consensual affair impeachment. Jesus, how do fix all that in just six years?”
Continuing to speak anonymously, Nudder anonymously spoke on, “Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had a great start. We’ve not only gutted the massive budget surplus but managed to turn it into the largest debt in history, no mean trick, I’ll tell you. And we’ve taken our military power and frittered it away on a pointless war that has now cost more Iraqi lives than it saved, so there’s that too. But, until we can rid the Congress of Clinton induced Republican corruption, moral indignities like child rape, petty shoplifting and election tampering, we’ll never be truly safe. Bob Ney, Duke Cunningham, Tom DeLay, Hastert and Foley…none of that would have happened if Bill Clinton had never been born.”
So Republicans worldwide can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the trust they placed in the Administration of George W. Bush and his GOP dominated Congress was not misplaced, unless of course they were trusting the Republican Party to do the right thing for anyone but themselves.