George W. Bush to Steal Election Legally!

Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush legal team is formulating plans to challenge electoral procedures if the election goes the ‘wrong’ way. The legal team led by James Baker and Johnny Cochran plan on attacking the constitutionality of the Electoral College. The Bush team hopes that by muddying the results of the election they can put it before a Supreme Court that is all too eager to decide another election.

“If the election goes the ‘wrong’ way, it will be obvious that the system is broken.” Said team co-chair James Baker. “George W. Bush is the winner and if the election doesn’t confirm this then we must challenge the system. The future of the American democratic system depends on us getting it right. Even if we have to thwart the will of the people to get George W. Bush elected again our decedents will thank us for defending the high ideals of American democracy.”

The Center for American Democracy has reviewed the plans and given it its’ stamp of approval. Center director, Benedict Arnold, likes the underlying logic of the plan. “If the popular vote and the Electoral College are split again and it goes the ‘wrong’ way for the president it will defiantly be time to reform the system. In the New American Democracy it is going to be important to start things off right. We may need a little more judicial action to set us firmly on the right path. It is imperative that George W. Bush be re-elected one way or another to prove that the American system of democracy is sound.”

“We need to show the world a stable and united front.” Said Johnny Cochran. “The best way to do that is to stay the course, we can’t go changing our president willy nilly. What will the terrorists think if we go ahead and change our president every four years? They are gonna think we are weak, that we know no resolve in our purpose, and they would be right. I’m proud that I have been chosen to help safe guard American democracy if the election goes the wrong way.”

Our sources indicate that The Supreme Court is very eager to help smooth the electoral process if the need arises. The justices feel that so much was left unresolved in the last election that it will be important to the courts role in selecting the president.