George W. Bush Trip Cancelled Due To Security Concerns

February 28, 2006

The White House abruptly cancelled President George W. Bush’s planned trip to India, Asia and Afghanistan today when it was learned that Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff has placed the President, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on the Agency’s No Fly List, citing security concerns. Inclusion on the list includes not only commercial airliners but military operated aircraft as well, unless the security threat is properly manacled, something Mr. Bush has so far refused to submit to.

Stunned Administration staffers rushed to have Mr. Bush’s name removed from the dreaded list, assuming that Homeland Security confused the George W. Bush with his father George H. W. Bush, who is well known to have many somewhat shady ties to various Arab nations such as Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. But Secretary Chertoff reportedly responded, “No, we mean the current President, George W. Bush. Given what he’s done recently with Katrina response, the ports transfer to the UAE and destroying America’s economy, we’ve determined that he represents a greater threat to the United States than Saddam Hussein ever did.”

When it was pointed out to Mr. Chertoff that it was George Bush who gave him his job in the first place, the H.S. director responded, “Maybe so, but he also gave Michael Brown, Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney and Paul Bremmer their jobs as well, much to the regret of the nation. As for me, well, even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

Apparently, Mr. Bush and most of his cabinet are not the only names that have recently been added o the No-Fly list. Most Republican members of Congress are now on it as well, due to their known associations with admitted criminal elements such as lobbyists Jack Abramoff and Michael J. Wade of military supplier MZM who recently admitted he gave more than $32,000.00 in illegal campaign contributions to Florida Congresswoman Katharine Harris, the woman who halted the Florida vote re-count in 2000, giving Mr. Bush his office in the first place.