George W. Bush Victory Sparks Crisis at Mexican and Canadian Borders!

Unconfirmed sources report that thousands of Americans are flooding the borders as they attempt to flee the Bush regime. American border security has collapsed as thousands of people are rushing to leave the country in the face of a Republican crack down. Mexican, Canadian and American border police have been brushed aside by the tide of humanity fleeing the country.

“It’s total chaos.” Admitted Secretary of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge. “We have lost control of our borders. Our forces have been completely overwhelmed by the unexpected crush of people. I have spoken with the President and he has approved the use of the military to secure our borders. We will use all force unnecessary to regain control of the situation.”

“People are dying out here.” Lamented Sgt. Jose Camacho, of the Mexican Border Patrol. “We are finding dead bodies in the desert, in the Rio Grande, stuck in tractor tailor trucks and in car trunks. It’s awful, the border is drifting toward tragedy. The other day we pulled over a container truck filled with dead Americans, the smugglers didn’t vent the back of the truck and now 52 liberals are dead. The situation down here is desperate.”

“It’s complete mayhem.” Says Ben Hogenmeyer of The Royal Canadian Mounties. “Americans are pouring over the border from Maine to Washington. We estimate that over one million people have fled north into Canada from the deteriorating situation in the south. We are trying to turn them back, but there are just too many. It’s hopeless on our end.”

Americans from every state in the union are fleeing the country in fear of their lives. Republican lawmakers have said that it is ‘pay back time’ for people who didn’t support the re-election of the President and democrats are afraid. Evidence suggests that they should be. The Republicans are mounting attacks on all matter of civil liberties that have protected dissenters in the past. There is no telling what types of barbarities will be visited upon individuals who oppose the President.

“When I heard that John Kerry had conceded and was then arrested I had seen enough.” Confessed a refugee named Glen Jones. “I packed the wife and kids in the car and headed North to Canada, the land of freedom. Now, I didn’t vote, but my brother did and for the wrong person. I hear they are rounding up the whole family of a ‘wrong voter’ and packing them away. I’m not going to take that chance with my family. That’s why we are here.”

Eileen Stephens, International correspondent for Unconfirmed Sources, based in Canada is laying out the welcome mat. “Come to Canada. We have plenty of room and could use a few more caring liberal minded people. It’s kind of chilly here so bring a coat and stay until your government regains its senses.”

The United Nations has rushed temporary shelters and emergency food aid the areas of Mexico and Canada that have seen the greatest influx of refugees. “The situation is desperate for the people who have fled into Canada.” Said Secretary General Kofi Annon. “Many of these people fled with only the clothes on their backs and the weather in Canada is already getting cold. These people need shelter immediately or an even greater humanitarian crisis will develop.”

Bush regime spokesmen Ben Lion made a statement to all Americans who have fled the country. “Fellow Americans, there is no need to fear. We are not going to hurt you. Please come back. We are setting up large ‘welcome camps’ for you where food shelter and re-education will be provided to you before we send you home. Come back American huddled masses, come back to America. So we don’t have to come and get you.”