January 29, 2006
United States President George W. Bush, whose own Administration, as well as the Republican Party in general, has been plagued by domestic scandals and disasters which have led to the lowest public approval ratings of his presidency on every issue from the War in Iraq to the economy to ethics in government, is scheduled to deliver his fifth State of the Union address this Tuesday night. Except for excerpts given to Unconfirmed Sources reporter Kamal El-Din regarding Mr. Bush’s foreign policy (see related story below), the White House has remained mostly mum on the contents of the speech, leading pundits to speculate on whether Mr. Bush will try to downplay the country’s recent problems or if he is indeed planning some sort of policy surprise in an attempt to regain the political initiative he’s lost since beginning his second term. One thing is known however: the White House secrecy plumbing, which has sprung some serious leaks of late seems, when it comes to the contents of this speech at least, to have been repaired…mostly.
Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, ” In the past, it’s been the Democrats who’ve cringed in fear every time the State of Union rolled around, wondering what George Bush would say that year