Gingrich Giuliani Promise: "No more divorces"

WASHINGTON (Ucs News) — Former House speaker Newt Gingrich and presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani have made a “no new divorce pledge”. The Two men have had 4 divorces and 6 wives between them, so many voters are concerned the Republicans lack the moral character to defeat the Democratic challenger in the general election.

The two men greeted the press today and made the joint announcement with their wives, Ex-wives and estranged children in attendance. According to tose who witnessed the press conference the mood was tense but hopeful. Ucs Staff reporter Gunther Schnitzel observed, “The gathered crowd was showing sympathy for two men and generally agreed the two men may be able to put their moral failings behind them.”

Tony Blankley, the editorial page editor of The Washington Times, author and former Newt Gingrich staffer was on hand to witness the “no new divorce pledge”, According to Blankly both men have shown shockingly poor judgment in their personal lives and in his opinion should not be trusted to manage the affairs of the worlds most powerful nation.

Ucs Staff reporter Gunther Schnitzel commented “If these two can’t handle their trouser trout responsibly how we trust them with our nuclear missiles?”