Tired of being misquoted, God spoke to Unconfirmed Divine Sources today to clarify that he did not ask Minnesota Republican Michelle Bachmann to run for office.
“What He actually said”, according to the source, “was that He wants her to keep her fat ass out of politics!”
Bachmann adamantly told the media yesterday that God told her to run for office and she was simply obeying God’s wishes.
“God told me directly to run for office and I want to know who your source is that says God said otherwise!” Bachmann furiously demanded.
The Divine Source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that God told him not to reveal who he was. “I don’t want to piss off God!” the source stated. “But he wants Bachmann to be a stay at home mom, do the dishes and be subservient to her husband, like it says in The Bible”.
“Bullshit!” Bachmann screamed. “I have a direct link to God and I know what he said! He told me to run for office ans he told me to vote against same sex marriage and that’s what I’m going to do. And anyone who doesn’t like that can go to hell!!!”
The source claimed that Bachmann is delusional and does not understand that God appreciates homosexuals because “He made them that way and he like it”.