GOP Leaders Try to Improve the Republican Party's Image : Professional Turd Polishers Wanted

Arlington,Va (Ucs News) A group of once prominent GOP leaders launched an effort to improve their party’s tattered public image, hosting an event at which they did not directly attack President Obama, rarely used the word “Republican” and engaged in a healthy dose of self-criticism. According to Republican Eric Cantor “It’s time we got to work polishing this turd.”

At a pizza restaurant in Arlington, where they officially unveiled the National Council for a New America Turd Polishing, party leaders attempted to portray Republicans as sensitive to the concerns of average American Millionaires and highly paid wall Street backing lords. They also discussed how they could to shake off the “Party of No” label that Democrats affixed to the struggling GOP.

House Minority Whip Eric Cantor (Va.) rejected the idea that all the GOP needed was a good polishing. In the first of a national series about “rebranding” the GOP,Cantor gave the impression of a party looking for a fresh start. Cantor, former Florida governor Jeb Bush and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney sat on stools and lobbed criticism at “the GOP leadership” and “conservative GOP leaders out of step with America”. They took few shots at Obama as they pledged to start a “conversation” with voters around the country.

Following the meeting Cantor put a can to all the nations unemployed turd polishers “The GOP Needs you!”