Saint Paul, MN (APE) – The GOP today announced that it would be severely curtailing activities at its national convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul and instead attempt to draw attention to relief efforts and hurricane safety in the wake of hurricane Gustav which slammed into Louisiana early this morning. The Republican Party insisted that its efforts would not stop with coverage of Gustav, but would extend into the likely landfall of hurricane Hannah expected sometime next week on the South Atlantic Coast of America.
Coordinating with the Bush administration, the GOP and the McCain campaign will be striving to promote what they feel is the progress that has been made and lessons learned from Hurricane Katrina which made landfall 3 years ago. Sen. McCain’s famed “Straight Talk Express” has been updated and rechristened, the “Storm Track Express” in an attempt to highlight efforts from FEMA and the volunteer aid workers.
“The bus has been outfitted with its own full color Doppler radar,” stated a proud McCain campaign staffer. “The chassis has been totally reinforced and weighted so as to provide safety for members of the press, and there is now plenty of room to throw them under if things go bad.”
“We will be looking to provide both education and assistance to the American public throughout hurricane season prior to the election,” the staffer continued. “We will coordinate relief and evacuation efforts, particularly in areas of the south which have been hardest hit with voter registration. We will also be promoting volunteer efforts, which include what we refer to as ‘Evacucations’.”
“When I was a kid, there was such a thing as a “hurricane party”,” stated Sen. McCain to a small group of supporters. “I would encourage anyone that is able to take a trip to the periphery of a big storm. Come on out, and celebrate with other evacuees, and you will be providing a well needed psychological boost to the economy, which by the way is fundamentally sound. Come on out and celebrate as the Republican convention goes grassroots.”
Hurricane Gustav had been late today lowered to a category one status with winds less than 90 mph. The McCain campaign applauded themselves for a successful effort but stated that the “Storm Track Express” will be scheduled to leave early tomorrow morning, headed for the expected landfall of hurricane Hannah somewhere on the South Carolina/Georgia coast possibly later this week. The campaign encouraged local volunteers to come out in support and stated that they would be offering free towels embroidered with the words, “Obama Evacuation Plan” to the first 10,000 volunteers.