Political opponents of Guilderland, NY board member Warren Redlich noted today that the aspiring Libertarian gubernatorial candidate appears to be in the early stages of losing his hair.
“It won’t be long before he’s completely bald!”, said Guilderland political rival Democrat Donald Csaposs (pro: Zap-Us). “Everyone knows a good politician needs a good head of hair”.
Csaposs pointed out that John F Kennedy, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton George W. Bush and Barack Obama have or did have thick, luxurious heads of hair. Balding, he said, shows cowardice and indecisiveness. He also noted that George H.W. Bush had a receding hairline and was not reelected to a second term. Nixon, even though slightly balding, won the election because he only ran against candidates who had less hair than he did.
Another board member, who asked not to be named, claims she likes Redlich’s balding pate. “It’s a sign of testosterone and manliness! He drives me wild!” she stated.
Yet others claim that Redich is not going bald at all and simply possesses a high forehead. “It’s a sign of intelligence!” said Albany, NY mayor Jerry Jennings. “Just look at the size of his brain!”
After examining footage of Redlich in a recent debate, hair expert Joel Biggins stated that he suspects the candidate may be using some sort of hair restoration product such as Rogaine or Propecia.
“If he hires me as a campaign manager and follows my advice he could be headed for the White House!” Biggins declared.