Washington, DC (Claw News Service) – Arizona Democratic Senator and Minority Leader Harry Reid was quietly and swiftly taken into custody today by a covert domestic CIA strike force and is reputedly en route to Camp Delta at Guantanamo bay Cuba. Spokespeople for the senator say that there has been no contact as yet with him, and they continue to be worried for his safety. White House sources confirmed that Senator Reid had been taken into custody citing established provisions of the USA Patriot Act.
White House spokesperson Scott McClellan stated, “As usual, let me state that this is an ongoing investigation, and we are reluctant to comment… but… these are some fairly exceptional circumstances. The President responded immediately to the request from Senator Lott yesterday for an investigation into the leak of classified information in regards to the story in the Washington Post concerning CIA overflow facilities in other countries. Let’s just say that this is ample evidence that this administration is more than capable of policing itself… leakers, whistleblowers, whatever… they will not be tolerated. We are at war, folks, and America is just a little bit safer tonight.”
McClellan continued, “This should in no way be construed as evidence that the “alleged” international “torture facilities” actually exist. The Washington Post story is a baseless fantasy, and they should be held accountable for the lives that will likely be lost the world over as a result of smearing the reputation of the United States. Alberto Gonzales is looking into whether charges can be brought against the Post as we speak, in regards to the rioting and unrest in France. America does not torture suspects, and citizens can rest assured that Senator Reid, or any other terror suspect in our hands for that matter, will be treated with due diligence. The interrogation team is well aware of Mr. Reid’s recent stroke.”
Claw News Service has further learned that Senator Reid way have indeed been caught up in a Pentagon sting operation. Iraq’s deputy prime minister Ahmed Chalabi, in town this week conferring with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice admitted to contact with Senator Reid on four separate occasions. He refused to elaborate further, as he stared down protestors from the balcony of his eight bloc suite at the Ritz Carlton.
McClellan refused further comment on the possible involvement of Mr. Chalabi, stating that the investigation was ongoing. He concluded, “The President urges the American people to not get caught up in all of this “background noise” of partisan politics and refocus on the goal of spreading democracy throughout the middle east, whether they want it or not. That’s all we have to say at this time, and you’ll have to excuse me because I’m running a little late for Karl’s mandatory ethics refresher class.”