In their ongoing effort to fight terrorism, increase the popularity of the Republican party, and to prevent war with Israel, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security declared that it is monitoring NickFun’s activities on the popular web site Unconfirmed Sources.
It would seem Fun has been using key words in many of his satirical stories to trigger investigators attention such as “explosives”, “home made bombs”, “WMD’s, “assassination” and “naked Iraqi babes”. Whenever these key words are found through automatic government searches Homeland security is immediately notified.
“Even the story he’s writing now is enough for us to investigate him”, claimed Homeland Security Director Daniel Sackheim. “We don’t guarantee privacy to anyone who uses those words!”
Sackheim claims the Department is attempting to find out Fun’s real name, which has been posted on the web site as “Jeff Vachon”.
“There’s a bunch of Jeff Vachon’s out there”, Sackhein stated. “We know his email is vachon.jeff@something. I’m not sure if he’s the baseball coach, the musician or the comedian but he’s one of those three and we will find out — trust me!”
This has not been Fun’s first run in with Homeland Security. Since 2004 he has had his hard drive copied, email shut down and had his cell phone reset twice.
“And I’d do it again in a heartbeat for the good of America!” Fun claimed.
Fun said he hopes this will not be his last article before he mysteriously vanishes.