House Speaker Dennis Hastert probed Mark Foley in 2001

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Kirk Fordham, the openly homosexual ex-aide to the homosexual ex-Congressman Mark Foley, recently told reporters that Congressman Dennis Hastert already probed Mark Foley in the year 2001. Republicans now say that this proves Dennis Hastert did not try to cover anything up, but instead he worked hard to expose Mark Foley.

Unconfirmed Sources has obtained photographs proving that Congressman Hastert probed Mark Foley under an exclusive agreement with Kirk Fordham. Fordham said that House Speaker Hastert started the probe shortly after he learned of Mark Foley’s interest in male Congressional pages.

Other Congressmen are now saying that they wish to probe Mark Foley’s background as well, citing the fact that Dennis Hastert may not have gone deep enough. Mark Foley issued a statement through his attorney, Ike N. Steele, saying that he has been repeatedly probed in the past, but would still welcome being probed by members of the House Ethics Committee.

Congressman Dennis Hastert said the following in a press release, “I probed Mark Foley in 2001. My probe went far, wide, and deep. At the time, I found nothing that would have indicated he had done anything wrong. This should dispel all allegations that I tried to cover anything up. Mark Foley was very open and agreed to show me everything.”

Some people are saying that it was the Democrats who tried to stop Hastert’s probe so that this could be used as an election issue. “Before Hastert’s probe could go any deeper, he was forced to stop by the Democrats,” said Republican pundit Shay D. Mann.

How this may affect voters in November is hard to tell. Republican Party strategist Stew Pedd said the revelation of Hastert’s Foley probe should show voters that Republicans will not only expose Democrats, but they will expose themselves as well.