How to Get A Free Apple iPhone

It’s true you can get an Apple iPhone for free. Unconfirmed sources has convened a pool of ‘procurement’ experts to help you get your very own Apple iPhone without any waiting or paying. Our select group of ‘consultants’ shares their hard won strategies to help you get your free iPhone.

We met with our group of experts in the visiting room at the L.A. County Jail where they told us how they would go about getting an iPhone. Our experts, I’m call then Steve, Bill and Johnny C., have agreed to advise us under the condition that we don’t reveal their identities.

“I tell you what, I figure the best way to get an iPhone is going to be the Geek Grab.” Says Steve. “When some geek comes out of an Apple store head down gazing at the wide touch screen it will be easy to sneak up behind him and BANG you are in business. You just grab the iPhone out the geek’s pudgy hands and start running. There is no way some overweight Apple loving geek is ever going to catch up with you. And forget about the police, you’ll have the dude’s phone.”

“Dude that is so artless! I’m thinking of doing it as an inside job.” Says Bill, “Planning is the way to do this right. I would have started the ground work a few weeks ago. I have this hot girlfriend on the outside, and I mean hot she is soooo smoking. I can’t wait to get out so I can…. Well, ok. So you get her to follow some Apple store dude around and hit on him. The rest is easy, a guy like that will do anything for a hot chick, I mean anything, believe me, I know. Or if that doesn’t work try to lift one off a FedEx truck.”

“Why in the hell would you want one of these things! Pleeeese! I know those Apple guys, this whole thing is total scam.” Says Johnny C. “This phone is going to be second rate at best. Forget the Apple iPhone. I’m just going to find some Nokia store and buy an N95 and call it a day.”