Howard Stern To Hire Cynthia McKinney As Bodyguard?

(New York–NY) Howard Stern, the self proclaimed King Of All Media, may be offering Representative Cynthia McKinney, the Capitol Police declared boxing champ of Congress, the position of bodyguard, in order to protect the Sirius shock jock from further fan attacks, so alleges the popular Stern Fan Network message board.

Long time Stern Fan Network member SMuttz said by IM interview, “I heard Howard was pretty upset by some homeless douche spitting on his g-friend; when he heard about Congresswoman McKinney bitch slapping the Capitol bacon, he knew she could protect him.”

The statement referenced Gregory Forbes, a homeless fan, last Saturday spitting on Howard Stern and his girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky, after the couple left a Manhattan Restaurant. According to SMuttz, Stern was confused, “because if he’s homeless how does he get satellite radio?” The Stern Fan Network is regularly frequented by members of the shock jock’s crew, and it was from one of these sources that SMuttz alleges that he found out about the McKinney bodyguard offer.

“I won’t say if it was MassenJill or PenisPants, but they heard a P.A. say that the P.A. heard Gary say that Howard’s maid said Howard said, ‘That Congresswoman, she may look like Weezie Jefferson but she punches like Muhammad Ali. She might make a good bodyguard. In fact, when she’s with me, it’ll be like I’m not even there, because she’s invisible.'”

Stern may have been referring to McKinney, as one of fourteen African Americans in Congress, being consistently stopped by Capitol Police because they didn’t recognize her. It was during such an instance that McKinney claimed an officer inappropriately touched her to stop her entrance, and the two scuffled. In an immediate reaction, a week later, House Republicans showed their support by proposing a resolution that would commend the professionalism of the Capitol Police for stopping a black women from entering Congress. A more reaching resolution commending the Alabama State Police’s professionalism during the Selma Freedom March is pending.

Calls to Stern’s publicist have yet to be returned. Cynthia McKinney’s lawyers are advising her not to speak on the issue. The only comment was from homeless fan, Gregory Forbes, who warned “of a Venutian invasion coming from Ostrosky’s naval.”

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