Huckabee Attacked by Disgruntled Squirrel over Views on Confederate Flag

Clemson, SC (Rotters) – The Mike Huckabee campaign is said to be re-examining its southern strategy after the candidate was assaulted by a disgruntled squirrel in Clemson South Carolina today. The rodent was observed scurrying around light fixtures within the gym at Clemson University and then apparently leapt to attack Huckabee after he had made statements in support of states rights in regards to the flying of the controversial Confederate flag.

A Huckabee campaign spokesperson said it was not clear at this time what had induced the squirrel to attack, but they were relatively certain that revenge was not a motive in that it was not of a species that Huckabee has admitted to eating in the past. “Unbelievably, the little critter actually seemed to take issue over his remarks about the Confederate flag,” stated the campaign spokesperson.

The squirrel was captured, and wrestled to the ground thanks to an alert Chuck Norris, but not before the former Arkansas Governor suffered a number of scratches to the head and bites to his ears. Authorities have quarantined the animal to prevent the possible spread of disease. Huckabee was treated at the scene by EMS personnel and released.

“We’ll be adjusting message a bit, but we do not anticipate any setbacks from this incident,” stated a campaign spokesperson. “Security was very tight and we are at a loss to explain how the squirrel was able to get in… he had to have help anyway you figure it. Perhaps attack ads are not directed just at John McCain anymore.”

DNC Chairman Howard Dean was contacted for a quote on the incident, and had this to say: “I don’t profess to know much about squirrels and their behavior, but they’re certainly into survival… and Mike Huckabee is arguably one of the biggest nuts there is.”