Hurricane Katrina Claims Another One, All That Gary Glitters Is Not Gold, Anna Nicole Smith and T…

The Katrina Calls And Letters Keep Flooding In:

Secured video footage of President George W. Bush speaking to officials from his home in Crawford, Texas four days before Hurricane Katrina hit the Gulf Coast shows the beyond a doubt he had been warned of potential levy breaks and the need for emergency medical teams, food and water shortages and the use of the Superdome as a refuge, things up to this point the Administration has denied being aware of. Caught in yet another lie that cost Americans thousands of lives and billions of dollars, Mr. Bush said, “Oh, did I say we couldn’t anticipate the levy’s breaking? I meant, we couldn’t anticipate Cindy Sheehan.” The Bush Administration, or American politics answer to the Keystone Kops, then went on to blame the whole misunderstanding on, “The fog of stupidity.”

Is That A Gavel In Your Pocket…:

As if George W. Bush weren’t enough of an indication that the end of the world is upon us, Anna Nicole Smith, that sometimes chubby chanteuse who married Texas billionaire J. Howard Marshall II, and has been fighting his family for the estate ever since, had her case appear before the Supreme Court this week. While Clarence Thomas fumbled with something in his lap and Antonin Scalia ‘cleaned his gun’, Ms. Smith’s lawyers argued a twenty something stripper and Playboy Playmate who actually has to fondle a wrinkled old 89 oil tycoon for a whole year should get a half billion dollars for the job, at least. Good Luck Anna, Texas’s next billionaire.

“Do You Wanna Touch”:

Gary Glitter, the child porno freak much beloved by sports fans everywhere, is on trial in Vietnam for allegedly fondling and kissing two Vietnamese girls aged 10 and 11 last year. The molesting musician, who had previously spent two months in a British prison for possessing over 4,000 images of child porn had left Great Britain on a sexual sojourn that saw him booted out of Cambodia then finally busted trying to flee Ho Chi Min City last November where was arrested at the airport with yet hundreds more photo’s on his laptop. In his defense, he claimed he was only teaching the girls English; one shudders to think exactly which phrases he was trying to get them to say. The children’s father has asked the court to dismiss the charges saying that since Glitter paid the children two thousand dollars apiece memories have grown hazy. Blame it on the fog of war.

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