Unconfirmed sources report that as hurricane winds and tides destroyed New Orleans today the President enjoyed a leisurely bike ride in New Mexico. Aides say that while New Orleans may be under 20 feet of water the president felt that is was import that he got in his exercise so that he will be in ‘good shape’ to solve the problems facing this country.
“The President had a very good ride today.” Said White House spokesman Ben Lion. “It was kind of hot so the President drank a lot of Gatoraid and that kept him well hydrated during the ride. The President drank Fierce Melon flavor and then drank some Intense Strawberry flavor near the end of trail. The President is now resting quietly and should be refreshed and ready for a fundraising dinner and Pro-War rally later today.”
The President was joined on his ride by local officials who wanted to get a word in with Mr. Bush to inform him of troubles facing this tight knit border community. Local residents have been begging the President to help them deal with the increasing flood of illegal aliens crossing the border. The President listened to the official until they grew tired and Mr. Bush pulled away.
“This was a good thing for America.” Says TV personality Bill O’Reilly. “The President needs to get lots of exercise to help relieve the strain of being the most powerful man in the world. Mr. Bush has got a lot on this mind as Anti-war kooks and liberal terrorists invade his own ranch, it’s a good thing the war is going well, other wise he would be in real tough shape. Yep, the President needs to stay fit. We need a strong President. I would even bet that Mr. Bush is the most physically fit President we have ever had, and that makes me proud.”
“The President is very happy with his new bike.” Continued spokesman Ben Lion. “The President ride a Trek Fuel 100 whish is a great bike. It has a carbon fiber frame and RockShox SID World Cup, All Travel 63/80mm, Dual Air, external rebound control, compression control, Pure damping front forks. On the rear forks he has a SID Lockout dual air spring, hydraulic damping, lockout suspension. This combination give the President all the control and responsiveness that the leader of the free world needs while bike riding on vacation.