In The Wake Of Hurricane Katrina,George W. Bush Addresses Trent Lotts Loss

After remaining nearly invisible to the people of the devastated Gulf Coast including the cities of Biloxi and New Orleans for the five days after Hurricane Katrina pummeled that region, except for a brief fly-over on the way home from vacation, United States President George W. Bush finally visited the area. Bringing with him National Guard troops and relief supplies that sadly proved to be too little, too late for the hundreds, perhaps thousands of those that survived the storm, only to die stranded in it’s aftermath, Mr. Bush pledged to rebuild Mississippi Trent Lott’s beachfront mansion, “bigger and better than before.” Starving and homeless victims of Katrina breathed a sigh of relief that their beloved Senator Lott will have his well deserved luxury getaway back.

Mr. Bush also pledged to kill any looters his troops find, whether they were looting to find potable water to drink or food to eat or even diapers for their babies, as looting for survival is to the American President just as evil as looting for profit. It is well known that Mr. Bush, always a Texas Lawman at heart, in spite of being a failed oilman and baseball team owner, will brook no lawlessness or criminal activity, unless of course it is perpetrated by his Administration and it’s related corporate brothers-in-arms, such as Enron and Halliburton.

While the residents of the afflicted areas, including New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, at first critizised President Bush’s lack of action during the first five days of the continuing disaster, it should be remembered that the late leader of the Soviet Union, Josef Stalin, at first was unavailable for nearly two weeks after Adolf Hitler attacked him during WWII and look at all he accomplished later. Some guys just need a few minutes to re-group, especially after a month long vacation filled with biking and fund-raising, after all.

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, ” It’s not George Bush’s fault that nothing got done for nearly a week after Katrina…I mean, we in the White House were dealing with the after effects of Hurricane Cindy (Sheehan) and Katrina took us by surprise. Then, we had to figure out how to explain that a) after nearly four years of existance the Department of Homeland Security was completely unable to deal with a major disaster and b) that the reason the levees broke in the first place was that we had cut most of the funding earmarked for the Army Corps of Engineers to do that work and diverted the money to the War in Iraq. Of course, all the National Guard troops and equipment that were unavailable because they were in Iraq in the first place is another niggling problem that needs an excuse…uh, explanation.”