Iowa Flood Victims Refuse FEMA Assistance

The President’s visit to flood ravaged Iowa took a turn for the surreal today as citizens blockaded roads and highways to keep FEMA officials from entering the area. Local governments in the affected areas have shown no sign of relenting in their wishes to handle the situation by themselves. FEMA officials have threatened to help Iowa residence by force if cooperation is not forthcoming.

“We need to get in there so we can help.” Pleaded FEMA director David Paulison to the assembled protesters. “Let us in so we can help you in this terrible situation. FEMA is ready to do what it takes to help the people of the Midwest. We have money, talent, resources, we have learned our lesson from New Orleans, and besides you are white and vote.”

“Hey look, we aren’t trying to be uncooperative,” said John Hickenger, Mayor of Bentville Iowa. “But after the Katrina mess up we just figure we can do a better job ourselves. If FEMA wants to give us a few front end loaders and some sandbags, we will take it from there.”

The President toured the area by helicopter, but the secret service refused to allow him to land because of the angry crowds.