Iranian Diplomat Beheaded in Iraq

Washington, DC (Rotters) – After an earlier denial of American involvement in the supposed kidnapping of Iranian diplomat Jalal Shararfi, President Bush early this morning was presented the head of Mr. Sharafi by Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki. Bush praised the Maliki government for what it described as increasing signs that the Iraqis were toughening their stance on an out-of-control insurgency.

“The Islamic Republic of Iran strongly condemns this aggressive act which is in violation of international law,” the official Islamic Republic news agency was quoted as saying. “Iran holds American forces in Iraq responsible for the safety and life of the Iranian diplomat.”

The Iranian government claimed Sharafi was in Baghdad in order to promote a banking and financial agreement between the two countries. The White House claimed that it was investigating the incident and offered that there appeared to be good information that Sharafi was instead attempting to coordinate the transfer of sophisticated centrifuges out of Iraq for use in Iran’s fledgling nuclear program.

The White House again stood by its authorization for US troops to kill or capture Iranian agents within Iraq. “We will fight them in Iraq today so that we might not have to fight them in Iran tomorrow,” President Bush said to reporters in attending. “A mushroom cloud may be the only warning that they’ll get unless we can all just keep our heads.”