Iraq Study Group recommends Bush Resign

WASHINGTON (UCS News) – President Bush was briefed by the bipartisan panel’s findings on Tuesday but The Iraq Study Group’s report did not contain the “magic bullet” to quickly resolve the bloody Iraq war. Instead the Iraq Study Group recommend that George W. Bush resign from office and that U.S. citizens should buy the energy efficient Toyota Prius Hybrid.

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said Bush had lunch with former Secretary of State James Baker, who as co-chairman of the Iraq Study Group and has spent six months studying the Iraq war trying to work out recommendations on what to do. The lunch was a long and at times an uncomfortable affair for the President. According to Baker “The President wasn’t to high on the idea that he resign. He resisted the idea even though he was the jerk that got us into this mess.”

The 10-member group is to make its findings public on Wednesday. Baker, a Republican and longtime Bush family friend, gave Bush “An outline of the general direction of the report,” said Perino. Bakers briefing also recommend that the US should sign the Kyoto accord and invest billions in search of energy independence instead of wagging war in the middle east.

The Iraq Study Group sighted the expense of the war as a major factor in it’s recommendations. “For the cost of destroying Iraq we could have purchased 20 million Prius hybrids and put a solar arrays on over 80 million homes.” The Iraq study also contends that we would still have enough left to outfit every home in America with energy saving compact florescent light bulbs.

Many in Washington and abroad have anticipated the report as a possible path toward a major change of course in Iraq but White House spokesman Tony Snow sought to lessen expectations.

“I think anybody who expects… a magic bullet out of the Hamilton-Baker commission is probably placing an unfair burden on them,” he said. Snow also went on to state “The President is just not interested in listening to the voice of reason.”