Iraq War Lost? : Donald Rumsfeld Demands Resignation

(UCS News : Washington D.C.) While George W. Bush is celebrating the wars third year of “progress” , Donald Rumsfled is mad as hell. Speaking to reporters Rumsfeld blasted the Presidents handling of the war and called for a “Shake up” at the top levels of the Pentagon. In response to the wars increasing body count, incredible expense and the Presidents failing in the polls The Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfled is calling for his own resignation.

In a candid interview from the basement of the Pentagon Rumsfeld stated that he had indeed botched the war terribly. “I was wrong about torture and the disbanding of the Iraq army, I was dead wrong about WMD and Achmed Chalabi, What a screw up that was!” Over a few more rum and cokes before lunch, the Secretary admitted “I took Bill Clintons military machine right up the pipe, Highway of Death #2, we rocked the house. We just made the mistake of not hauling ass back to Kuwait when we had the chance.” Like many others on the Pentagon Rumsfeld believes Bush senior had is just about right. “We should have done a smash and grab. Now we own the joint.”

White House insiders claim the President has a drawer full for Rumsfeld resignations dating back to the fall of 2004 and has been receiving newly dated copies three times a week for the past 6 months. Unconfirmed sources deep inside the Pentagon are speaking out on the third anniversary of the Iraq War. They are saying Rumsfeld can not resign.

Citics of the war insist the President will not allow Rumsfled to hint the war is not going “According to the Presidents Master Plan”. Others claim, to keep Rumsfeld on onboard and focused on his work his adult children are being held at American gulag located at Guantanamo Bay Cuba.

Sadly Rumsfeld wishes he had taken the Presidential Medal of Freedom when he had the chance.