Iraqi Elections Made Official: Iraqis Unveil Statue in Celebration

Baghdad, Iraq (Claw News Service) – The results were made official yesterday in Iraq, and with slightly over 68% of the population voting, Iraqis voted overwhelmingly to approve the American sponsored constitution for the new Iraq. Unwilling to accept defeat, Sunni factions scrambled to oppose further referendums scheduled for December. Spontaneous outbursts erupted in the street, with gunfire and a number of car bombs exploded into the air in celebration, unfortunately resulting in the accidental deaths of American servicemen numbers 2002-2004. People thanked and awarded the American occupation forces with a surprise group of statues on the outskirts of northern Baghdad.

With the aide and assistance of the American forces, a number of local craftsmen, once busy under the reign of Saddam Hussein were put back to work modifying a set of existing outdoor sculptures.

Before

Colonel I. B. Lyon, the liaison officer in charge stated, “Many folks just don’t know what wonderful artisans these people are. They’ve been building great things for thousands of years, and we’re happy to do our little part to compensate for what we’ve destroyed. We just offered some suggestions on what we’d like to see and footed the money and materials and they pretty well ran with it.”

After

Lyon continued, “It’s just amazing how this turned out, given what they worked with. The project has been a tremendous benefit to the local economy, and the residents have been really enthusiastic about it. They have enjoyed the statues so much that we had to erect some barbed wire barriers around them. So many people were beginning to swat the statues with their shoes for good luck, that they were becoming damaged. The locals have taken to calling it Mount Crushmore, because they can’t seem to get the pronunciation right.”

Local Muhammad Al-Badi said through a translator, “The originals were pretty spooky. It’s like the eyes followed you everywhere you went. Children just wouldn’t go near them. These are pretty much the same.”