WASHINGTON, DC Sept. 2, 2107 — – Following Mexico’s surrender after the Four Day War, President George X. Bush gave a short speech before leaving for a two week vacation at the tropical family ranch at Byrd Station, Antarctica.
After a ceremony at which he presented the Air Medal to Colonel Fred Haverson for the nuclear bombing of Mexico City, the President said he looked forward to his vacation. “There will be no more snow, ice or cold winters,” said a smiling President. “We owe the oil and coal interests a debt of gratitude for warming the globe.” He also called for a moment of silence in honor of the eight hundred and forty thousand heroic American soldiers who have given their lives in the ongoing fight against terrorism.
Turning to the Boy Scouts assembled on the Capitol steps, who were about to be sworn in and sent to a military training camp prior to their being dispatched to Iran, the President said, “Within several years, when the last Muslim is gone and God’s only true religion,Christianity, sweeps the Middle East, peace will reign! You heroic, patriotic American Boy Scouts… our last bastion of attack, will fight terrorism as have others before you. It is regrettable that all of our heroic American youth between 16 and 40 have given their lives to this great cause,” he said sadly.
At the President’s side in a wheelchair was 140-year-old Rastus Washington, the last survivor of the Katrina disaster of 2005. The President patted Washington’s wooly head. “FEMA is working on it, and soon New Orleans will rise again from its muddy waters and you will be able to return,”
“I’ve been lookin’ to go home. Thank you suh,” said Washington.
The President concluded his speech with,
“This year will see your gasoline prices drop to $18 a gallon. Automobiles will be manufactured in the USA, and your government will soon have pure water flowing from your faucets once again. I promise you that the National Forests will again have trees. I foresee a great future, as our country ,so ably administered by the great corporations of Christian America and the ten Bush Presidents before me, continues to dominate the cowering nations of the world !”
Waving to the assembled crowd, the President replaced his oxygen mask and entered the official helicopter.