Jeb Bush Insures Election Irregularities in Florida!

Unconfirmedsources report Florida Governor Jeb Bush has made great strides to insure the November Election will be the model of corruption and unfairness. Jeb Bush speaking from the State capital assured voters “Florida’s failing democratic traditions will continue without pause. Florida’s history of election fraud is long and troubled, it may be hard to top last time but we will carry the mantel forward.”

In response to the troubled elections that took place in 2000 The Bush administration in Florida has reinforced the existing flaws and introduced many new flaws. Catherine Harris, an expert in the field election rigging has been assisting Florida Republicans. “The 2000 election in Florida was a close run thing, without the extra corruption the will of the people might have been honored.” “We are going to make sure 2004 is decided well before Election Day.”

To insure the ballets are confusing, Theresa LePore, the election supervisor who designed the infamous butterfly ballot, has retained her position. In fact, she has been promoted; this will allow her incompetence to spoil a greater number of ballets. In 2004 the top election official Glenda Hood is a Republican partisan hack. Nearly all of Florida’s current troubles share a common denominator-they were decisions made or endorsed by Florida’s secretary of state and chief elections officer, Glenda Hood. To insure the top election official is not independent of the Republican Party she was hand picked by Governor Jeb Bush. The proud Jeb Bush claims, “She has done little to assure Floridians that all the votes will be counted this time around.”

The Bush regime has taken other steps to insure democracy will be denied or at least delayed indefinitely. To avoid the time consuming recount of 2000 the state’s Republican-controlled legislature created a new rule that outlaws manual recounts. Rep. Jeff Miller, R-Florida speaking on behalf of the legislature stated. “The best way to handle a complex problem like recounting ballots is to just ignore it.” When asked why Bush supported the Rule Glenda Hood Explained, “This means that if any of the new optical-scan or touch-screen machines fail-as they did in the 2002 there will be no recourse for counting votes.” “I guess Florida Democrats will have to take our word that their votes were counted.”

The state’s Republican Party are so pleased with the Bush teams efforts to disrupt the November balloting they have produced a flyer featuring a picture of a smiling President Bush striking a thumbs-up sign. Inside the flyer Republicans living in Miami-Dade County are instructed vote by absentee ballot and make sure the return envelope is marked with the words “President Bush”, the flier also read. “Order your absentee ballot today.” “Make sure your vote counts,”

Jeb Bush has had many critics fighting his disorganization plan. But with the court taking partisan positions, Bush has little to worry about. The Florida courts have blocked many challenges to the new rules. A written statement from Florida highest court admits “The right to vote is guaranteed, but Governor Bush and the state of Florida have no legal obligation to actually count your vote, if they don’t want to.”