Jessica Simpson's IQ–150!

(Hollywood–CA) In front of a gathering of reporters at the Regent-Beverly Wilshire hotel, Jessica Simpson calmly said: “I’m about to drop a bomb.” After a second, there was a loud wind break. Waving her left hand behind her and toward the press, Simpson smiled. “And now the news. I have a 150 I.Q.”

Simpson claimed that she recently took the “noted” Tickle IQ test and scored a 150, adding “I even got the questions right with the numbers.” The once “other” virgin now “popped “diva then put on a pair of sunglasses. “Now that I’m smart, I should wear these.” When a reporter asked shouldn’t those be glasses? Simpson replied: “How could I keep two glasses strapped to my head, Silly.”

Most members of the press greeted the announcement with skepticism, especially after a short division challenge. Simpson pulled out a calculator. “It’s my second favorite handheld device that needs batteries.” However, proud Father/Manager, Joe Simpson, was quick to convert unbelievers. “My Jessie is a genius. It’s that slut Lindsay Lohan who’s a moron. She did Herbie Fully Loaded, who co-stars with a VW! A moron and a Nazi.” Questions to Joe Simpson along the lines of was this simply another one of his smear tactics to elevate his daughter above Lohan were met with “maybe you ought to ask the moron Nazi’s father that question during his one phone call from prison.”

Jessica then addressed the new burdens and benefits of her startling discovery. “I don’t really feel any different, but now I look at a map of the United States and I think: ‘Oh that’s where I live, on the left part. And it’s like: ‘Oh, I guess I do have an I.Q.'” And the negatives? “I get lots of spam. WAY MORE since before I took the test. I guess people just want to touch my smartness.”

A final question was asked of Simpson. Was this an attempt to divert attention from the rumors that she had slept with both Jackass stars Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera? “Oh,” replied Simpson, “we didn’t do any sleeping.” To which Joe Simpson added: “My Jessie might be a slut, but she’s no moron.”

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