Jessica Simpson's "No" Bigger Upset Than Iraq To George Bush

(Washington, D.C.) In the wake of Operation Swarmer, number fifteen in a series of 182 final military pushes to extinguish the fire of Iraqi insurgents, Jessica Simpson turning down a meeting with George Bush at a Republican Fundraiser this evening has, according to White House Sources, “hit the President harder than a Dick Cheney shotgun blast aimed at a Republican septuagenarian during quail season.”

CNN White House correspondent John King, speaking by phone interview, was puzzled by the President’s reaction. “I thought I had seen it all when after Republican members of Congress threatened to defeat the Dubai World Ports Deal and the President declared that he would become a Democrat, but this is a real head scratcher.”

Simpson was in Washington this week to lobby members of Congress on behalf of her charity, Operation Smile, a non-profit venture offering free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas. A Republican Congressman, who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity, said Simpson was effective. “That little lady can sell anyone on plastic surgery. She just leaned over my desk and talked. About what? I couldn’t tell you. I just know that an hour later my wallet was lighter, and I had a craving for milk.”

The disappointment on the President’s part may have been because he wanted Simpson at the National Republican Congressional Committee Fundraiser for exactly those two reasons, her overflowing