John Ellis Bush Enlisted in Texas

Austin, TX (APE) – John Ellis Bush, 21, son of Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida and nephew of President George W. Bush was arrested early Friday morning, Sept. 16 in Austin and later enlisted that day in the USMC. He enlisted under an “Anti Dead Enders” program which provides Texas youths with the option of rapid enlistment versus prosecution.

Bush would have been prosecuted for public intoxication and resisting arrest. His enlistment photo shows an abrasion on his chin from his struggle with Austin Police.

Bush family lawyers were handling all communications with the Governor’s family, and have described them as “stunned” by this turn of events. They are reportedly looking into the legality of the “Military A.D.E.” program. A spokesman said, “I know this young man, and at risk of jeopardizing future proceedings, this would not have been an option for him by the next morning.”

White House sources were curiously upbeat about the chain of events. Spokespersons described the President as delighted with his nephew’s choice, and described it as just the next step for a typical Bush political career. The President stated that he would be delighted to inquire for his nephew about possible marine aviation slots if asked. The President and other Republicans have come under significant pressure to have their children enlist and support the Iraqi war effort through the likes of Operation Yellow Elephant, and it is speculated that this may be a way to remove his twin daughters from the spotlight.