John McCain "I promise to invade your vaginas."

(Straight Talk Express) Ucs News– US Senator John McCain has finally set the record straight on women’s reproductive rights. Speaking at a campaign rally in Rochester, Michigan, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee detailed his plans to put old Catholic men in charge of women’s reproductive rights. “With Catholics like Roberts, Scalia, Alito, Kennedy and Thomas already on the bench we need just one more to insure the US government will have complete control of your vaginas.” McCain told the faculty and students of Oakland University.

McCain’s plans for the Supreme Court will be a major selling point for the Arizona Senator as he tries to firm up the support of conservative Republicans. McCain has also signaled that he will work to make all abortions illegal. In a statment released by his campaign, McCain declared that “Abortion is a criminal act regardless if the fetus is the product of rape or incest” and that “women’s health” is an excuse cooked up by medical doctors intent on providing abortions.

Convicted rapist, Wesley Fenton, is cheered by McCain’s new tougher stand on abortion. Speaking from his high security prison cell Fenton explained that he was shocked and saddened when the child he conceived, while rapping a 12 year old girl, was aborted in 1997. “It was a terrible moment for me.” said Fenton. Due to his life sentence Fenton will not be voting for McCain but the inmate confirmed he had already donated $300.00 to the Republican National Committee and $200.00 to McCain directly.

In his closing remarks to the faculty and students of Oakland University McCain promised to, “seize control of all freedom loving vaginas and enforce the rulings of the US Supreme Court inside women’s bodies.