Unconfirmed Sources report that a rift has developed inside the Iraq Study Group. The advisory panel formed by the President has been examining alternatives to U.S. policy toward Iraq has reached a consensus agreement, co-chairman Lee Hamilton said on Wednesday. Chairman Hamilton however failed to explain why Jon Stewart left the Study Group.
“Yeah, They reached a consensus that my butt is white.” said Stewart. Speaking to reporters outside the Iraq Study Group meetings Stewart complained. “Sure a bunch of good old boys in Washington D.C. are going to solve the problems of the middle east. RIGHT? So far all they can agree on is that George W. Bush got us into a fine mess.”
Stewart was added to the group so he could provide some criticism and levity to the proceedings. After a good start Stewart quickly got on the wrong side of former U.S. Secretary of State James Baker, a Republican and close Bush family friend. According to Stewart “Baker was upset when I called him a Bush toady and a wet nurse.”
The Iraq Study Group, a panel of five Republicans and five Democrats has been studying critical questions such as whether the United States should begin to withdraw some of its nearly 140,000 troops from Iraq amid accelerating sectarian violence.
Many in Washington believe the group’s report may provide the impetus for a change in policy. However others think the whole thing is a waste of time or, at the very least, another distraction shifting the blame. Stewart complained the “bipartisan” group would only succeed in consuming valuable oxygen, coffee and cigarettes.