Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Call It Quits


Pop stars Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez announced today that they are no longer a couple and now hate each others guts.

“She’s just a f….g bitch!” Bieber told Unconfirmed Sources. “She always has to have things her way! She doesn’t give a rat’s ass about what I want!”

“He’s full of s..t” Gomez retorted. “He’s the one that always wants thing his way. If I want to go to the Caribbean he wants to go to Aruba. If I order lobster bisque he will embarrass me by ordering a hamburger!”

Gomez claims that she had been saving herself for marriage before she met Bieber and now regrets removing her ‘puity ring’.

“If I hadn’t met him I’d be a happy virgin right now” the youthful diva declared.

“If I hadn’t met her I’d be doing a bunch of hot chicks!” Bieber retaliated.

Shortly after this interview Bieber and Gomez spent a few minutes alone and apparently made up, retreating into a nearby bedroom.

“Please don’t tell anyone all that s..t we were saying”, Bieber stated.

An Unconfirmed Source provided the pair with a condom as they made their exit.

“I’m gonna need a bunch of these!” Bieber exclaimed as the bedroom door closed.