Karl Rove Receives Medal of Freedom and Disappears

Washington, DC (Claw News Service) – Karl Rove surfaced at the White House this morning and after an early prayer breakfast was awarded the Medal of Freedom. Rumors have been swirling around the capitol about the location of Mr. Rove in light of the possibility of indictments this week from special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald in connection with the outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame. Rumors have insinuated that the Bush Administration may be attempting to distance itself from those who might be implicated in the supposed 22 count indictment.

President Bush awarding the Medal of Freedom to Karl Rove

The medal was awarded in a simple ceremony with just family and friends present, and no press, with the exception of a reporter from Claw News Service. Bush cited Mr. Rove’s past performance in his role as White House advisor, and more recently as “Disaster Czar” or coordinator for Hurricane Katrina relief.

White House spokesperson Trent Duffy commented, “The President very much respects loyalty and indeed rewards it. Mr. Bush actually became a little teary-eyed at various points in the ceremony.”

Mr. Duffy refused to comment on questions of Mr. Rove’s absences of late, or whether the White House might have any special knowledge of the contents of the upcoming indictments. “As we have said before, this is an ongoing investigation, and it would be improper to comment at this time.” said Mr. Duffy. He added, “I do have it, from anonymous sources, that the indictments will be released at the end of the news cycle, Friday, or perhaps early Saturday morning.”

When asked to reiterate what President Bush would do if any staffers are implicated in the upcoming indictment, Mr. Duffy replied, “The President has remained consistent in his stance from the outset. Again, anyone convicted of a crime will be promptly reassigned.”

Mr. Duffy concluded by reinforcing the President’s praise of the extent of Mr. Rove’s service to America. He stated, “Karl will be migrating to a more “behind the scenes” position in the administration, with much less visibility. He is slated to head a special Presidential investigative task force into how leaks are occurring, and how best to prevent them and the damage that occurs. Karl will also begin work on a special project to test investigative capabilities of Homeland Security. He has graciously consented to going under deep cover during this exercise, and will indeed be the practice target for the investigation