Karl Rove to investigate Vice President Al Gore

PORTLAND – Karl Rove, the recently appointed police chief of the PPD, made the ad hoc decision to re-open a four year allegation made by one of Karl’s favorite masseuses.

Emma Rubbin alleges that Vice President Al Gore rubbed her the wrong way four years ago. Since Karl Rove has nothing better to do – e.g. investigating homicides – he has decided to go on a witch hunt by targeting Vice President Gore.

“We will get Al by any means necessary – including waterboarding,” said Rove. “We really have nothing better to do. If we have to devote $100 million to getting Al over this four year old allegation, we will do so. We are willing to devote all resources necessary for this witch hunt. I know this particular masseuse very well – I mean, um – I know she is very reliable,” said Rove.