Keith Olbermann Violated MSNBC Anti-Free-Speech Policy, According to Phil Griffin

MSNBC has suspended host Keith Olbermann for violating its anti-free-speech policy by donating money to political candidates he wanted to see elected.

“We have a strict policy here at MSNBC”, said MSNBC Chief Phil Griffin. “You are not allowed to have political opinions and if you do have opinions you are to keep your mouth shut. And for god’s sake you’re not supposed to endorse anyone or give them money!”

Griffin stated that the network only endorses the First Amendment in regards to freedom of the press and considers the other sections of the amendment to be antiquated and obsolete.

“We run a Christian organization here” Griffin continued. “We do hire a few Jews and even a Buddhist here and there but that’s only to be politically correct”.

Griffin admits that MSNBC is politically left of center and concurs that Olbermann did donate to Democratic candidates but insisted that the news network has an obligation to seem politically neutral.

“We will fire anyone who expresses their political views regardless of their race, nationality, sexual preference or gender”, Griffin candidly stated.