Know a possible al Qaeda sympathizer? Turn them in!

Do you know somebody–perhaps, somebody you don’t like–who you think is an al Qaeda sympathizer? Then turn them into the Department of Homeland Security immediately!

Signs of being an al Qaeda sympathizer/Islamofascist:

1)Do they dislike FOX News?
2)Have they ever voted for somebody other than a Republican?
3)Do they not run through two-minutes hate drills regularly?
4)Do they question anything the Bush administration has ever done?
5)Have they ever criticized a Republican (with the exception of Ron Paul)?
6)Do they not find talk show hosts such as Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Medved, et al., to be intellectually stimulating?
7)Do they ever visit sites like,,, or other hate sites? Are they fans of the radio talk show host Alex Jones?
8)Are they opposed to perpetual war?
9)Do they believe in the Fourth Amendment, or even the Fifth Amendment (i.e., the right against self-incrimination/protection against coercive means to extract a confession such as waterboarding)?
10)Do they believe waterboarding is torture?

If any of the above apply, turn their name into the Department of Homeland Security, so that our Enhanced Interrogation Specialists can sort out the details.